Being the King of TV is certainly a full-time job but it isn’t as glamorous as you might think. In addition to watching some great TV, there is also a lot of crappy TV I am forced to watch. Unless you’ve spent a summer watching every hour of Big Brother After Dark, you don’t know the meaning of the word insufferable. There’s also the occasional challenge that the King of TV is forced to answer from every punk with a laptop and a subscription to TV Guide.
In recent years, I have spent many day wondering who will take my crown when I can no longer name all of the hosts of Talk Soup. My first thought,of course, was that my oldest daughter would one day become the Queen of TV. I started her off early watching age appropriate shows that also had a long history like Sesame Street and The Muppet Show. To my constant amazement, some shows became favorites while others inspired no excitement whatsoever. What kind of a kid doesn’t want to watch Free to Be You and Me?
It wasn’t until the kid reached her pre-teen years, that she showed a strong interest in one particular show. That show was Full House. Everyday, oftentimes more than once, the extended Tanner family entertained what I hoped would be my successor. It was clear that I needed to strike while the iron was hot.
I quickly printed out a comprehensive list of Full House trivia questions and spent hours quizzing her until her mind was filled with various information, such as the fact that D.J. Stands for Donna Jo and Danny’s late wife died in a car accident. I felt that she was on her way, but their was only one way to be sure. She needed to perform in public.
So, one night, I brought her with me to a comedy show where I was performing. After I was introduced, I challenged someone in the audience to come on stage and display their knowledge of Full House trivia. A young woman in her twenties came onstage and was ready to challenge me. Little did she know that she would be going up against a nine year old girl. What followed was a bloodbath.
My daughter answered almost every question correctly and before the adult could get even open her mouth and she did it with such ease that I could barely compose myself to sing the theme to Who’s the Boss and close my set.
Unfortunately, like most topics, she lost interest in TV trivia pretty quickly and nowadays when I try to quiz her on the particular show she’s watching, I always get the same answer…”I don’t know. Be quiet. I’m trying to watch.”
Now I know how Prince Albert felt.
Hear more from the King of TV on The Paul Goebel Show podcast and at his website, www.TheKingofTV.com. You can also follow Paul on Twitter @PaulGoebelShow.