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The 10 Stupidest TV Dads

It seems to me that, over the years, fathers on television are portrayed in one of two ways. They are either the thoughtful and caring father we all wished he had or they are a total moron. Here is a list of some of the most spectacularly stupid dads.

10. Homer Simpson (The Simpsons)
It’s very easy to be a complete moron when you’re animated, but Homer makes it seem like a calling. By being the dad who continually puts his kids lives in danger, Homer has become the archetype for the stupid but lovable patriarch

9. Peter Griffin (Family Guy)
Peter, on the other hand is pure evil disguised as a boob. Not only is he completely disinterested in the well-being of his family but, at times, he seems determined to drive them to patricide. Just the sight of his naked body alone would push any normal child over the edge.

8. Dr. Tobias Funke (Arrested Development)
Hilarity aside, Tobias has to be the most clueless dad to ever appear on TV. I admit it didn’t help that every other Bluth was completely self-involved but only a true moron would refuse to remove a hair transplant that is clearly killing him.

7. Phil Dunphy (Modern Family)
In Phil’s case, his stupidity may not be all his fault. Since two of his three kids are total morons, he probably makes an effort to stay at their level. Whatever the reason, being a stupid dad, clearly works for him.

6. Alan Harper (Two and a Half Men)
It’s hard to pick between Alan’s stupidity or his lack of spine when determining his worst quality. In any case, it’s a good thing, his son, Jake is so intellectually challenged. That way, Alan can get away with fatherly advice like, “fire…bad”.

5. Jim Orenthal (According to Jim)
The only advice worthwhile that this dad had to give is how to land a smoking hot wife when you’re an unfunny, overweight jagoff. Too bad he only had daughters.

4. Ted Lawson (Small Wonder)
Only on a terrible show like Small Wonder could a father be smart enough to build a lifelike android but so stupid he found her antics funny.

3. Herman Munster (The Munsters)
There is no question that Herman was a loving father but his childish reaction to adversity is really inappropriate. How is little Eddie supposed to learn to be a responsible adult if his role model stomps a hole into the the floor whenever he doesn’t get his way?

2. Arthur Spooner (King of Queens)
Maybe he has Alzheimer’s, maybe he doesn’t, but in any case, Arthur was a handful. I’ll say this much, if he wasn’t sick and it was all an act, he belongs on the list of genius dads.

1. Tim Taylor (Home Improvement)
Not only is Tim Taylor the stupidest dad on television but he revels in his stupidity. He seems to associate being dumb with being a man. So instead of educating himself, he decorates his body with manly accessories and puts his limbs in danger of being mangled. So the question is did his three boys grow up and decide to avoid being a living stereotype like their dad or did they meet an unfortunate end with the help of a miswired power mower?

Hear more from the King of TV on The Paul Goebel Show podcast and at his website, www.TheKingofTV.com. You can also follow Paul on Twitter @PaulGoebelShow.

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