Today, nearly thirty years later, the Green Lantern finally comes to the big screen. And on Father’s Day, I’ll be going with my son to see it.

We’ve shared many passing on the torch of fandom moments, some of which I’ve written about here. But this one is a bit different. Unlike Godzilla, which is appealing to us both in the same way, or Star Wars, which I resigned from the beginning to him being a prequel-brainwashed fan, Green Lantern is something which may not appeal to him at all. I’m hearing early buzz that the movie is a disappointment (I’ve been suspecting as much for a while, but I’m hoping everyone is just being negative). And, the things I love about Green Lantern may not be captured in this film. There may not be a Green Lantern vs. his equal (Sinestro? another rogue lantern?), and it may be more of just a bland origin story with a non-iconic villain setting the stage for later films. This may result in my boy giving it a “meh.” Rating.

On the other hand, I could be pleasantly surprised. I panicked at the start of Thor, as they laid out all of the backstory necessary for the film. I feared that the 15-minutes or so of prologue would lose my son’s interest, but he hung in there and loved the film. It may be that he gives Green Lantern a blindly loyal shot and comes out liking it. We will see.

But for me, it’s another chapter in fatherhood. Another interest shared, fingers crossed that it will take with him (probably not so much my daughter, but I’ll give her the opportunity as well.)

Last night, my son asked if he could come to watch my hockey game. I was already a bit cranky in that I had to drive 20 minutes to pick him up from a birthday party, which even if it ended on time, I’d be dropping him off, rushing to get changed, and hustling out the door to my game, but the party was running late… “I don’t think so, Bud” I said.

My son was persistent though, and even though the party ended about 20 minutes late (putting me 20 minutes behind schedule), I really had no solid reason not to let him go. Yeah, he’d be getting home close to 10, but he wasn’t going to fall asleep before then anyway.  No, there would be no other kids there, but he would be okay with that and be very low maintenance. Yes, I usually went out to the bar after the game with some teammates, but I didn’t need to do that – and even so I could always drop him off at home first. “All right,” I reluctantly said.

We got home, I hurried… he hurried… this little boy who usually has a habit of making things seem more complicated did all he could to make it as easy as possible. He helped get my stuff ready, and when I finally got out the door, he was quietly waiting in the car – wearing his replica of my jersey (name and number on the back). I was embarrassed… proud but embarrassed too. I kept hinting that he didn’t need to wear it. Part of me was worried he’d get teased… but I’ll be honest, I was worried I’d be teased. Not by my friends, but by some of the other guys who know I’m not a good player and have no problem ripping a guy in front of his kid. I didn’t want my boy to hear them mock me, because he’d ask what it meant and why.

But he wore the jersey proudly, and we made it in plenty of time. He kept himself busy as I warmed up, and once I got on the court I heard one voice calling out cheering for the Green team (my team)… my son. For 90 minutes, he sat outside the fence and attentively cheered for my team as we fell behind 6-0 before scoring. At 8-2 with less than a minute left, his tired voice was as loud as ever as he cheered for us to score one more before the buzzer. I thought to myself, I actually played a decent game.   glad he came and got to see that.

And then it happened. With less than 10 seconds left, I found myself open in front of the goal while a teammate worked his way in my direction… 6… 5… 4… I never thought he’d get the ball to me but somehow he did, and I shot… less than 2 seconds before the buzzer, there it was… my first goal in nearly 8 seasons of playing.

And my son saw it all.

I was so pleased he was there, and I felt so low for having tried so hard to talk him out of it.

He beamed with pride, re-energized by the goal. He “let” me tell my wife about the goal, and while she was pleased – the disparity in their reactions only reinforced how lucky I am that he was there. Pretty soon he’s going to be too old to want to go. I’ll no longer be on the pedestal he’s built for me, and moments like this will be reduced to a line in an email.

But not this one… he was there, and although the goal itself is a meaningless accomplishment, the fact he was there means the world.

10. Homer Simpson (The Simpsons)
It’s very easy to be a complete moron when you’re animated, but Homer makes it seem like a calling. By being the dad who continually puts his kids lives in danger, Homer has become the archetype for the stupid but lovable patriarch

9. Peter Griffin (Family Guy)
Peter, on the other hand is pure evil disguised as a boob. Not only is he completely disinterested in the well-being of his family but, at times, he seems determined to drive them to patricide. Just the sight of his naked body alone would push any normal child over the edge.

8. Dr. Tobias Funke (Arrested Development)
Hilarity aside, Tobias has to be the most clueless dad to ever appear on TV. I admit it didn’t help that every other Bluth was completely self-involved but only a true moron would refuse to remove a hair transplant that is clearly killing him.

7. Phil Dunphy (Modern Family)
In Phil’s case, his stupidity may not be all his fault. Since two of his three kids are total morons, he probably makes an effort to stay at their level. Whatever the reason, being a stupid dad, clearly works for him.

6. Alan Harper (Two and a Half Men)
It’s hard to pick between Alan’s stupidity or his lack of spine when determining his worst quality. In any case, it’s a good thing, his son, Jake is so intellectually challenged. That way, Alan can get away with fatherly advice like, “fire…bad”.

5. Jim Orenthal (According to Jim)
The only advice worthwhile that this dad had to give is how to land a smoking hot wife when you’re an unfunny, overweight jagoff. Too bad he only had daughters.

4. Ted Lawson (Small Wonder)
Only on a terrible show like Small Wonder could a father be smart enough to build a lifelike android but so stupid he found her antics funny.

3. Herman Munster (The Munsters)
There is no question that Herman was a loving father but his childish reaction to adversity is really inappropriate. How is little Eddie supposed to learn to be a responsible adult if his role model stomps a hole into the the floor whenever he doesn’t get his way?

2. Arthur Spooner (King of Queens)
Maybe he has Alzheimer’s, maybe he doesn’t, but in any case, Arthur was a handful. I’ll say this much, if he wasn’t sick and it was all an act, he belongs on the list of genius dads.

1. Tim Taylor (Home Improvement)
Not only is Tim Taylor the stupidest dad on television but he revels in his stupidity. He seems to associate being dumb with being a man. So instead of educating himself, he decorates his body with manly accessories and puts his limbs in danger of being mangled. So the question is did his three boys grow up and decide to avoid being a living stereotype like their dad or did they meet an unfortunate end with the help of a miswired power mower?

Hear more from the King of TV on The Paul Goebel Show podcast and at his website, www.TheKingofTV.com. You can also follow Paul on Twitter @PaulGoebelShow.

A small, simple blue puppy caught her eye – and this little stuffed animal was one of the dozen or so stuffed animals given to my son during that first week of his life.

All of the animals were cute. There was a Pooh, a caterpillar, a giraffe, an elephant, … all the staples. But the blue puppy was just the right size and softness, it was the one which he always seemed to end up with in one-animal situations, and as weeks turned into months, “Puppy” became THE stuffed animal.

When my daughter was born two years later, I was surpriseed by how many things we had to replace for our second child. Despite the seeming hardiness of the items, a number of blankets and hardgoods hadn’t made it through the first two years of my son’s life. Weeks of poop, puke, and disinfecting had taken a toll … and then there was “Puppy”.

Although Puppy was increasingly by my son’s side, he was holding up surprisingly well. The stuffing was gone from his joints (pushed into the head, paws, and body) and the fur matted down, but no holes (knock on wood) or missing eyeballs. Still, he was such an important part of my boy’s life that I thought I’d better go get another one, just in case.

I visited the hospital gift shop, and found there were no puppies at all and no means of ordering one. I hit all the stores, Buy Buy Baby, Baby Depot, Babies R Us, Kay Bee Toys, Toys R Us… scoured the internet. No blue puppy. A few look alikes, but they were the wrong size and often had a “Little Rascals”/Target like ring around one eye.

I studied the tag on Puppy and emailed the manufacturing company. I sent photos of Puppy, explained his origins and significance, and begged them to scour their inventory or point me in the direction of a retailer – domestic or international. I was terrified of what might be if anything ever happened to Puppy.

[When I was growing up, my parents would have me leave my teddy bear by the fireplace on Christmas Eve when he was on the verge of disintegrating, and Santa would use his Christmas magic to restore my bear. Great foresight on my parents' part!]

Unfortunately, the company could not help me. Puppy was a discontinued model. It was now 3 1/2 years since we bought him, and even then he was a clearance item in their eyes.

I considered making a subtle switch while my boy was still young, but no… he would notice. I thought about removing Puppy from the danger zones, but no… he belonged with my boy. [Ironically, my son is terrified of real dogs - having been chased down and pounced on behind by a neighbor's loose dog]. Puppy needed to stay.

I checked ebay to no avail. And finally resigned myself to the fact that Puppy just might not make it.

Fast forward 7 years. I still check online and in stores for Puppy-clones. My son’s seen Godzilla vs. Destoroyah, so the prospect of a Puppy Jr. becoming the new Puppy when Puppy is destroyed, would have a precedent in the whole Godzilla saga. But Puppy’s hanging in there. He’s had one small hole at the seams, and in the spirit of Toy Story, Mom rushed to patch him up. We considered adding some stuffing in while the hole was there, but decided Puppy was doing just fine on his own.

As my son turns 11 this year, Puppy’s made it through the danger zone (although I am a little worried about what horrors he might be subjected to when my boy is 13 and learning about science). For now, Puppy still has a place in my boy’s room… but when the time comes we will pack him away to be preserved for when my son wants to share him with his own children.

You can’t make everybody happy
During his career, Captain Kirk has been forced to make unpopular decisions. Even though the decision is always the right one, there are always people (sometimes a lot of people) who end up wanting him court-martialed or worse. As I became responsible for people other than myself, I had to realize that like Kirk, I have to make the decision that I know is right even if it makes my kids hate me.

Just because you ask for advice doesn’t mean you have to take it
Let’s face it, Kirk would be lost without the help of his crew. Like all smart leaders he gets advice from Spock, Bones, Scotty and a host of other crew members before he makes a decision. However, as he points, he is under no obligation to take the advice he gets. I try to solicit ideas and answers from my friends and fellow parents but ultimately, I am responsible for the decisions I make concerning my kids. So if the advice I get is not to my liking, I just figure it out on my own.

A good bluff can save the day
While I don’t advocate lying to children, I must admit that there are plenty of times when The Corbomite Maneuver comes in very handy. Case in point, when my kids ask me to take them to see a crappy movie like Nancy Drew or Bratz I tell them “I heard it’s kind of scary.” Problem solved.

Always spay and neuter your pets
My kids love animals and they are always pestering me to get them another cat or a turtle or goldfish or something like that. I always tell them that any pet we get will have to be cared for by them. This includes the trip they will have to take to the vet to get the pet fixed because the last thing I need is a tribble situation.

War is messy
It hasn’t come up yet, but if any of my kids ever decide to fight a virtual war where casualties have to report to elimination chambers, I know exactly what to say.

Hear more from the King of TV on The Paul Goebel Show podcast and at his website, www.TheKingofTV.com. You can also follow Paul on Twitter @PaulGoebelShow.