This being pre-NCLB-centered education, what went on in the various classrooms was not as coordinated as it is today. Some teachers regularly covered more material than others, and the work load and expectations were certainly not standard within the school. Ms. Miller pushed her students harder than nearly any other teacher in the school and her popularity suffered as a result. As I remember, she didn’t really care – she was very confident she was doing the right thing.

For many of the honors students in her class, this was the first time we were challenged. Our “excellence” had allowed us to coast through classes with high floors for a long time, but here we were challenged. Sentences had to have context clues showing you knew the meaning of the work. Books used for book reports had to be above grade level. Spelling and handwriting had to be reflective of the bright students we were.

I hated it, and I rebelled in the most passive way possible. Nearly every day, about 10 minutes before English class, I would go to the nurse and complain of feeling “fluish”. This went on for several months. Sometimes I’d just rest in the nurses office, sometimes I’d go home. But I wasn’t going to English class.

Go me. Good job earning my first D! I really showed Ms. Miller, huh?

In hindsight, someone should have intervened. I should have been challenged by the nurse or a guidance counselor. Ms. Miller did have an “I know what you’re doing here” conversation with me once, but being enemy #1, I just dismissed what she said. But I never forgot it.

Nor, did I forget the things she taught me.

My son has never had a “Ms. Miller.” Some of his previous teachers have shown flashes of Ms. Miller’s values, but the heterogeneous grouping of students in his classes, overly generous classification of “honors students”, emphasis on high-stakes test scores, standards based reports cards, and grade-level wide uniform lesson planning have inhibited their efforts to emphasize spelling and hold high expectations.

So it has fallen to me to impart the lessons I learned (despite my best efforts to ignore them) from Ms. Miller. I stress the importance of good spelling in assignments where spelling mistakes will not be penalized. I encourage the construction of vocabulary sentences which allow the reader to discern the meaning of the word from context clues. I recommend reading accelerated reading choices which have been around since the 70s over the latest Judy Moody book. And I encourage my son to always do his best, even when a lazy effort will be considered among the top showings.

Like Ms. Miller’s lessons, these messages are not always popular with my son. And, like Ms. Miller I’m content with that. I do wish that he was hearing it in school and I could be in the role of reinforcing the ideas instead of seeming to add to the workload, but I’m confident it’s the right thing.

I never thanked Ms. Miller for what she did. I never apologized either… I was too young and immature to realize how wrong I was and how right she was. But she WAS right, and I’m happy to be in a position where I can help my son excel by sharing the things she taught me.

Her father and I did all we could to prepare her: clothes, school supplies, some summer “school work”, a number of talks about boys, peer pressure, “mean girls” and more. We made it a point to watch some of the classic coming of age films with her and discuss the fact and fiction components of it all, but one thing we couldn’t really prepare her for was the expectations that would be put upon her by her new teachers.

My husband and I lamented the hand-holding and low expectations we saw in elementary school and have long worried about our daughter’s ability to adjust to the higher expectations she’d face in Grade 7. I’m not simply talking about more homework and a faster pace, I am referring to the changing of classes, the start of note taking, and the like.

This week we have found that our fears were well founded. After only 2 days of school, my daughter is already feeling overwhelmed and unprepared. She has yet to come up with a notebook/folder system that will accommodate her schedule. Half of the school supplies we bought are the “wrong ones” (although they are very mainstream items). And, I can’t help but wonder if this could have been avoided by two things.

1) An orientation day for new students. Our district does not bring the Grade 7 students into the middle school until the first day of school. Aside from a schedule and bus information, we received no “heads up” about what would be needed or expected during the first week of school. My understanding is that many other towns hold orientations. And our local high school does too. But, the middle school is treated as just another grade.

This would be fine if it weren’t for the disappointingly low expectations of the Grade 5 and Grade 6 teachers in our district. After watching my daughter breeze through Grades 1 – 6, I can’t help but lament the time wasted and opportunities missed to better prepare her for middle school and to have taught her more.

2) Being a student in Grades 5 and 6 should be treated less like a significant accomplishment deserving of reward and special treatment, and more like a transition period with high standards and a curriculum more like what students will see in Grades 7 – 12.

My daughter will adjust as she always does. But it pains me to see her struggle and frustrates me to know it’s an unnecessary headache for her. She should have been better prepared by her school, but the sad thing is that her elementary school and middle school won’t even compare notes so her fate is destined to be suffered by many future classes of students, just as it has been for many in the past.

In case you don’t watch Modern Family, let me tell you that you should. In addition to being a very funny sitcom it provides a rich cross-section of family archetypes to laugh at.

There’s the non-traditional gay couple who have an adopted Asian baby. There is also the family patriarch and his much younger second wife who has a son from her first marriage. Then there is the more traditional family with a mother, father and three kids. What amazes me about this show is that the traditional family is clearly the one with the weirdest and most hilarious problems.

In this week’s episode, Alex, the middle child, is graduating from middle school and has been picked valedictorian. This is cause for a variety of concerns. First there is Claire, her mom. Claire really wants to spend time with Alex getting their nails done and prettying up for her big speech. Her father, Phil, is concerned because Claire is bound to have a meltdown before the big event and he wants it to happen before he has to leave to meet his old college cheerleader buddies in Vegas and Alex, herself is concerned because her speech, which is a scathing condemnation of the popular kids in school, has to be perfect.

In addition to a host of other calamities, including a fall into a wading pool and a bad Botox decision, Phil and Claire end up in a mad dash to get to Alex’s speech on time. At one point, the bicycle they are using breaks down and so do they.

As they stand in an alley worried about how they are getting to the commencement, Phil and Claire break out in tears lamenting the fact that their little girl is growing up. As I watched this episode, I was struck with one overpowering thought. Why the hell do middle schools have commencement ceremonies?

I may have graduated a long time ago, but I don’t remember middle school being that hard. High school is where students are really tested and graduating high school is a major accomplishment that everyone should be proud of. Middle school, however, is easy enough for a thirteen year old to complete, which they do every summer. I fail to see any reason to celebrate any type of graduation other than high school or college.

To make matters worse, parents will then throw lavish parties for these students thereby lowering the bar for success so much that graduating college and finding a good job seems like pipe dream. I mean how can a mere eighteen year old attain a 2.5 grade average? It took every brain cell they had to learn algebra just 4 years earlier.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to take my daughter out for dinner, as she did a pull-up in P.E. today.

Hear more from the King of TV on The Paul Goebel Show podcast and at his website, www.TheKingofTV.com. You can also follow Paul on Twitter @PaulGoebelShow.